Depression and madness confusing sadness blasphemous blue and blackness consuming  Drugs and alcohol abusing Psychotic hypnotic lacking logic Feeling paranoid drugs fill the void Liquor fills the hole in my heart Numbs all the memories of me falling apart Sick of life stick this side of this knife Across the vein because the only thing u feel is pain watch the blood go down the drain Everything fades to black Never get your emotions back Dead on the inside Drugs slowing melting my mind Pills or alcohol i cant decide Ill just do both an overdose coming so close from the shit hes sticking up his nose crush it and sniff it pass it and hit it There it goes shit it burns But for more he yearns  talks to himself as if hes taking turns  all by himself no one else no help  bottles up inside all the things that he felt  the ignorance is bliss especially when u dont remember shit  wake up everyday like what day it is who gives a fuck anyway and i dont know what day it is  im a smoke a nother splif  but what happens when its all gone  feels like you slacking like something is wrong you start getting anxious and spacious zoning out in a way your not used to its from doing all the things that ur not supposed to  chemical imbalances has ur mind covered in calices  staring at a clock and u cant even tell what time it is  then comes the caotic thought  that you ought of shot yourself when u had the chance  Tired of pacing so you sit and you stand like you doing some kinda dance  your mind wont work right  now your awake all night  contemplating and thinking about the same thing  over and over  then the boulders on your shoulder gets bigger and bolder  and eventually u start to collapse  and do anything to relapse  the actions I've taken crack through the surface  Should I just wrap it up and close the curtains  Or keep on working with these words more often   diamonds are forever but ur soul is foretold to be forgotten  only legacies create memories that last centuries