I'm sorry, I'm sorry to all 4 of my beautiful blessings, Benjamin, Nels, Garrett and Nellie Im so sorry I left you home with my mother, I know you all was hurting for mama's loving arms, I was hurting deep down, from all the abuse I had endured without even realizing your daddy was beating you black and blue for no reason at all he took his anger out on yall I just want to say that was never your fault for how he mistreated each and everyone of you I'm so sorry you know mama did her best to keep you safe from harms way I did all that I could to keep you all from seeing all the drinkin that was going on in the home, even those young eyes witnessing fighting between father and mother, whatever happens during a blackout I'm sorry we were just too young when we met, we had yall pretty quick we both had the same childhood back story we grew up seeing both parents fighting and drinking all the pain away this is what you call a generational curse I'm sorry I left yall at grandma's place the only way I knew how to break this curse was to do the right thing even if it meant me being selfish, so I gave each and everyone of you up for adoption, I'm just so proud of each and everyone of you look at how much yall have grown, I'm sorry I chose my addiction over each and everyone of you this affliction can be overcome by trusting in the Lord to guide you through the day everyday of your life don't let the hard times drag you down look at how much you achieved look at how great you're doing with your athletic abilities look at how blessed you are to grow up in my mother's home which happened to be my mother's home she's the best mother in the world, I can see how well yall are doing being raised by my mother I love you all with all my heart