why am I?

yeah.... yeah why am i so dead.....why am i so depressed.....i have pressed all the pills takeing the stress... ....why am i dead why am i so depressed i have been pressed all the pills takeing the stress..... i am not okay but when see me i say im okay.ive been beging for so fucking long but nobody picks up the phone i aint in the zone im gone i disappear for so long im so fucking wrong. why am i so dead why am i so depressed i have been pressed all the pills takeing stress. i have been broken for so long i just keep making songs just want the gun im so fucking done. why am i so dead why am i so depressed i have been pressed all the pills takeing stress... stress...... yeah all the stress.....im so fucking dead.....dead......dead.....dead....dead................................. i want to believe her but im just not sure and all my insecurities make it so fucking hard she always catchs me off guard yeah i dont feel alive i dont feel alright i just want to die