goin insane

So my girl left now I’m alone in this empty home, stuck with these demons, feeling like rap could be my reason to freedom, so ok YouTube I vent hopefully one day it could pay my rent I’m a true believer, but right now I’m confused why everyone left an I’m still failing I mean I know I got your railing to hold on but I feel like I can’t reach with both arms, sometimes I feel like people wish I was dead, or maybe ending up in the streets full of lead with a big whole in my head, I know it make few people smile for awhile I don’t understand how I can’t turn up my dial an create the vibe to get me right I’m no dope fiend but cash is my only fix all I ever wanted was to be self rich, an buy my house, car, and protect my self with my blicks, jus waiting for the demons to return to make my life flip upside down, even as a kings mind it all could come crumbling to the ground and become the laugh around town