I can’t keep talking to God if he ain’t talking back Think of how I spent life by myself, yeah that’s a fact The window open to my heart, it’s cold as ice I feel the draft Frozen in place, I guess I’ll never get to make all those stacks Call it a wrap, I mean my mother dying for God’s sake And I’m doing everything, it’s like I’ll never get a break I got my niggas but they wilding, and they been calling me fake When I ain’t did shit but survive, nigga throw me in a lake Ain’t nothing great, lately feels like everybody been leaving me For nine years, I ain’t done nothing but grieving, see Lost my brother 2015, from then on it was bereavement b And now my mom won’t get to see my biggest achievements, we Been tryna keep it together but swear I’m falling apart And I’m braving all this weather, but I just wanna restart I’m tryna keep a hold of my heart Like my ex is coming back and I swear I’m back in the dark I need to park, I just need a sec to get a grip on my head Lord, tell me why I feel I’m always better off dead Better off red, better off not knowing what niggas said This lonely road that I’ve been walking is the only place it’s led And yeah, I’m fed, but it feels like my spirit starving to death I guess it all first started when it was the bud that I met Or maybe when I used to get clowned for how I dressed All this suffering, I need the sun to set, just cuz they left I miss my baby, he gave me unconditional love But now that you took him back, Dear God I’m screaming up above This can’t be swept under the rug, I need my drugs I need to go away so baby boy can give me one more hug I’m missing what it was Because I know he was my pet, but he was my best friend He heard all of my problems, gave me love until the end And my heart is in tatters, no way for this to mend My will to live is broken, I ain’t even see it bend So heaven sent, but Lord tell me why he had to go away? It’s like every day I search for the answers, to you I pray I been listening so hard but there ain’t nothing for you to say I don’t know how, but I gotta find the strength to stay and never stray This is a measure of my strength and power But sometimes I’m so sad that I can’t even take a shower Sometimes I feel small as a stone, others times feels like I tower My motivation be dwindling, every minute every hour Never a coward, I promise I’m not afraid to die I’m afraid to live without this love, I’m afraid I won’t get high I’m afraid how I’ll react when I see time flying by I’m afraid to lose my parents, that when they go, I’ll dip and hide I always try, but Lord tell my why my efforts fruitless Tell me why I’m in the dark alone to do this Tell me if I’ll ever find love, or someone to give a cute kiss Please tell me I won’t ever have to write a new diss I’m too pissed, and I’m trying so hard not to speak on the matter I’m focused on my mom, how soon I won’t be able to @ her And now everything so fucking shattered Dear God, please tell me that I’ll get the peace I been after #contestentry