I feel the loneliness, it just creeps up into my brain It’s been hella years since I felt myself start to change And two, exactly, since I said I’d never be the same Only thing I would make different is that baby boy’d be staying I’m just saying, I know that everybody has their pain to hold But I’ll never get to see my mother get fucking old I’ll never get to tell my dad bout the records I sold That is, if I ever get the courage to be so fucking bold A story told, but who is left for me to tell it to? Who finna hear my side if I swear to tell it true Tryna stay kinda new, tryna wear some cleaner shoes Tryna take my girl I don’t have out to the zoo I need to move, cuz they say a body at rest will stay that way And I been doing nothing but laying down to cry all day Cry always, cuz all I wanna do is get the fuck away While people out here in the concrete jungle tryna see how they can play What can I say? Everyone got a different hand they been dealt I remember coming home from school covered in welts Used to get my ass beat, and go to the bookshelf Look for any piece of knowledge that could actually give me help This weed I melt, I tried to quit but I just couldn’t stand it No matter how many times I tried and tried just to plan it No matter which doctor told me about the damage The only way I persevere is if I fucking have it, then I’m a savage Put my cap on backwards, yeah y’all know my name is Ash Only gotta sit down for two hours to write this draft Pop a gummy, smoke a joint, then think of how I have no cash Women got me out here looking like a motherfucking ass Go to my stash, I keep it locked to hope I stay in check Like I don’t already know what I have on deck Like all this bud is gonna fix my health, I’m a wreck I’ve lost it all, but having this outlet will leave me set When she left, she took every part of my soul Now sitting in my chest is nothing but a gaping hole Every tear I cry is a tear some influencer could have sold But my pain shows I’m alive, and so I cherish it like gold