I know in my heart you don't understand me and you will never choose me ....I know that i ain't special or nothing but I do have something special about me I happen to find it yet but my journey is not complete when I miss you I thought it was love at first sight of me and you eyes I mean you was a fun person I was a  fun person kinda plain Jane I can feel it in the air energy I love you instantly .... I think Ill always wonder what you seen and me when you look at me I think you feel bad for me and then you didn't know how to stop the results to that me without you like you was at first these words I'm speaking are from my heart no lie to rehearse but I want you to know how I really feel I can't let you take advantage of me anymore  I deserve so much more like  a-loving person who walks beside me helps guide me  and I don't have to tell and wonder if he's going to be there even though I carry   plenty baggagess more then the  usual. I be playing that tough guy or what do they call it miss  independent ..  I do admit shit I still get tired of smilin wen I be sad as then a bitch.  And then, even I need a hand TO HOLD ..RIGHT?? DONT I ?? I WANT SOMEONE TO TELL me that Im loved & that I DO matter.... I know this might be needy &sound alil cheesy but shit Id be  lyin if I dn’t say that I too on the down low wish that he I mean someone out there would make efforts for me. Ya know example If you don’t talk 2 me for a day, u should feel something missing. I should at least run across yo mind one time a day.. & u  knw why that is? Bcuz you matter to me. I was there for you. Listen to you cry an morn and what's sad it wasn't even for me .... So when you are not here ....  it makes me sad. I feel let down. I feel a big tug pull to my heart. I feel that maybe I was lied to...  Maybe, it was only me who felt those these things. Iv just explained & I start to overthink and overanalyze. That’s how I ruin my peace. & I guess your peace  I create my own hell. &  with each passing hour, I get deeper in my mind  I start to doubt every word you've ever said You can’t expect me to keep our bond alive while you don’t care if it dies.... Athe next day.. . You can’t tell me that I think too much  while you don’t think about me at all. It’s basic human nature to expect some love in return  when we give so much love ... I refuse to be the light that keeps shining all alone  , every day.. Do You see???? All I ever wanted was to be with you. You know, I thought that I could be  content wit this one-sided pure love in which I would keep running after you even if you keep running away from me. Type relationship But I can't its pure hell,    So I am writing this to let you know that I am done ding ding ding KO the winner is (DC) I am done chasing you ONLY  bcuz I DO i love you but It takes two for love to stay....    ~mooky.....