what am i supposed to do if nobody in my family fuck inG wants enything to do with me . It'S not my fault ". i didn't even know with my conscience that i was ganna be alive but now before i was i wasn't even asked to be in this this word but know it's not my fault that I'm the way i am so i trust that my mom has my side and there s enything that she would gust do for me but i found out years Later that she had never wanted me when i was born she told me personally from her self that she never wanted me because of my dad. He ha has scared her so many times and busted her head before without makin g a mark or iether a Broose. so she was pregnet and tryed to swallow after birth pills but knew i was coming soon and she had to have me as 1 of her child's . but still continue to swallow the pill everyday even though she knew it would kill my brain cells inside before I was even born or created into the world that you call kansas city witchita. thats all i got so mutch going on in my head i cant think and theres so damn mutch i know ive done but wat i have not done the love of my life belives knows and will not be accepted by ne who i was to him im nothing im all a joke just a big as joke he dont love me enymore i can tell things will never be the same and i cant even fix nothing not no how i cant its all my fault for everything am not perfect just a big mistake and to a lot of people who think its all me it is im the fucking ugly flat cheasted dume as dume hoe as fucking bitch as bitch and my ass bitch self is so fucking emotionally down i don't know how or why i will but ill promise ill take my own life if i dont feel nothing different about myself thought it was the drugg but its Just worse when im sober and no ware to go im falling fast down to my feett i need a huge and a shard let the tears fall from my eyes so i will be more droken inside hard to breathe and i dont but do know why this is not my life that i really created myself it was just day bye day that i live and its my moms bullshit mistake for not just leting me bleed out in ternitly . BELIVE I'm still on my knees and down inside the Floor. it's like i can see the hole world walking above me and living there life as it's supposed to be but me it's not like that as it it's short to be equal for every single person in this life it's super too be everybody is the same and nobody's is better then eny body but the thing is everything is never ganna be for me and i know that im never ganna be perfect nobodys supposed to be beter then another , But it us everybodys beter then me and everybody is always ganna be more then me i cant seeem too get myself up and take control of my life and run my life how! i. want or the normal way way i was supposed to just go on and live and live as i breathe but ia breathing. and its like im not breathing its been i geuss nmore then 7 years ive seen my own kids reanna and hayley and most likely likely ( yahe ) its So more more then7 years for shure i hade a relationship for 7 years and then my mother got gelousy of what i had going for me because me and jamesreally did love eachother i still do love him and im not quit shute if he loves me as like he saids he dise ' But he saids he dose we dont fuck but i know he knows i want to . he told me before just because me and himaint having sex dosent mean he dosent love . yes i know he knows i know we both love eachother. but if he aint wanting to be with me as how!?!. we use to be u know We dont even cuddle . i try every single night i do but he turns around to the back of my face i ask himif i can hold him and he tells me why do iwant you tut hing me . just the other night i ask him if he was asleep and he said No. then i asked him if he was tired and he said depends what for i was laying next to him on the other side of the opposite left side bed on my stick and i was next to him and i tried to lay on his chest kinda as i ask him if he wanted me to go down on him sorry for PUTTING THIS LIKE THIS APRIL BUT U GOT TO KNOW I BELIEVE HE IS MESSING WITH SOME OTHER FEMALES 🫢😬🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫🫢🤫🤫🤫😡🤗😶💯I B DELETED HIS DATING SIGHT THAT HE HAD ON HIS facebook