tj It's really hard when u lose a brother, not sure I can manage I pray to God asking why my brother was sick with his appearance . It's difficult to wake up when ur up every hour of the night. Emotionally bent backwards doing things you normally wouldn't do, oh right!!!! I'm lost and broken, (BROKEN) it's been about a year now, I'm still in shock. The last that we spoken was at wawa when we squashed the beef and put the bullshit to a stop.... I doubt I deserve your 4givness but if I did, I hope u do. Most importantly, I hope u realize how much i truly love and miss u. I'm like a zombie now who walks around looking lost, plus I'm scared. It breaks my heart into pieces knowing u were the only one who cared. Now, I stay impaired, lets check out, until we meet again. Despite the arguments we've had you already knew I'm sticking wit ya until the end. I can't explain the feeling it's a pain that really fkin hurts. What's even worst, I wasn't allowed to attend ur funeral, I was born with a curse. I'm emotionl and wrecked now holding onto hope all the time. I'll honor ur memory and respect ur wishes looking after kk like she is mine Your loss isnt easy, it's a big slap to everyone's face. fkin disgrace We can't replace anyone like u this was the toughest battle I ever faced. Learning more about u since ur gone is no real excuse. Not knowing these things when u were here got me fked up in the head like a recluse. I'm sorry for being an asshole, sorry I acted like a prick. I Protected the wrong ppl when we started fighting over bullshit so now I'm really sick. done How would u feel lf ur family threw there problems on u like a trash can.