medicated murder
medicated murder

immortal heartbreak pt. 1

immortal heartbreak pt. 1

106 Plays

25 May 2023

#medicatedmurder #loveless #heartbreak #dark #love #broken immortal heartbreak i dont wanna live forever never better always severed fragile is my state of mind feel depression all the time then i tell em all im fuckin fine break myself another line yea i see the signs but i ignore them cuz i hate my fuckin life why the fuck am i alive maybe if u heard my story or saw my journey u would know me if only it were that easy i started medicated murder back in 2011 12 years later here we are again i moved out of state with the girl i claimed to love then i got caught with a stupid thot and my world came crumbling down i was left alone to drown in my emptyness and endless regrets and then the pandemic hit we had to quit fighting and put aside our differences cuz now we had a kid we tried our best to start over again and make it work but then i fucked up again like a jerk and even worse i made it hurt by fucking someone close to us i gave into lust and broke her trust ultimately i grieved daily and started to blame myself and feel guilty it fucking killed me sent me down a suicidal path 2 and a half months straight of staying wasted lost in endless faces waking up in strangers beds pissed i wasnt dead it lead me to stephanie i fell in love immediately i couldnt believe someone could pick up these broken pieces and can see this hidden potential its confidential what we went through but i do remember back in september of 21 i was just havin fun one night and this guy broke out some lines pure white i thought it was cocaine i took a rail to the brain and said it didnt taste the same he said it was junk my heart thumped after i found out i blacked out hit the ground dead as fuck call it bad luck but stephanie saved me quickly narcanned me three times til i came back to life i couldnt even open my eyes i barely survived she was terrified i could puke and die so she begged me to hit the meth pipe i did it and after i hit it and exhaled my mind was in hell i was awake for 3 days straight trippin out in her house crying over being such a shitty dad i felt so bad for almost robbing my daughter of her father more than any guilt that i felt towards myself after the trip ended i sobered up got my shit together to be a better parent and i stuck to it everyday for 8 months straight then after vacation for my daughters birthday celebration i lost my job stephanies ex sold their house and i was out homeless in my car no doubt the worst time of my life but still i tried to make it right but my ex always had to fight ihad no choice i kissed my baby girl goodbye held her close and cried that was my last night in colorado i headed home a 19 hour drive became a 3 day fight for my life i never wanted to die so bad but ima dad now and i cant allow that so i finally made it back got my act together got the court against her cuz shes just trying to hurt me to be petty by using my baby girl and its fuckimg up her world she deserves so mich better and if we worked together she couldve had that instead she fought back i kept it goin and every night i called stephanie because she was my one and only we planned a future together our lives were gonna be better everything was gonna be worth it as long as i had her i knew my worth in this world but then my girl had to be taken away february 18th i miss you everyday stephanie im still fighting for that future we were supposed to have i dont care that ive gone mad im a fucking depressed wreck that stays stressed but im doing my fucking best i feel immortal heartbreak that will never go away i dont care if you listen to what i say or try to understand me im loveless for eternity on the first album i was angry now im in a comstant state of melancholy and this is my loveless story

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11 months ago

DOPE 🍀

#medicatedmurder #loveless #heartbreak #dark #love #broken immortal heartbreak i dont wanna live forever never better always severed fragile is my state of mind feel depression all the time then i tell em all im fuckin fine break myself another line yea i see the signs but i ignore them cuz i hate my fuckin life why the fuck am i alive maybe if u heard my story or saw my journey u would know me if only it were that easy i started medicated murder back in 2011 12 years later here we are again i moved out of state with the girl i claimed to love then i got caught with a stupid thot and my world came crumbling down i was left alone to drown in my emptyness and endless regrets and then the pandemic hit we had to quit fighting and put aside our differences cuz now we had a kid we tried our best to start over again and make it work but then i fucked up again like a jerk and even worse i made it hurt by fucking someone close to us i gave into lust and broke her trust ultimately i grieved daily and started to blame myself and feel guilty it fucking killed me sent me down a suicidal path 2 and a half months straight of staying wasted lost in endless faces waking up in strangers beds pissed i wasnt dead it lead me to stephanie i fell in love immediately i couldnt believe someone could pick up these broken pieces and can see this hidden potential its confidential what we went through but i do remember back in september of 21 i was just havin fun one night and this guy broke out some lines pure white i thought it was cocaine i took a rail to the brain and said it didnt taste the same he said it was junk my heart thumped after i found out i blacked out hit the ground dead as fuck call it bad luck but stephanie saved me quickly narcanned me three times til i came back to life i couldnt even open my eyes i barely survived she was terrified i could puke and die so she begged me to hit the meth pipe i did it and after i hit it and exhaled my mind was in hell i was awake for 3 days straight trippin out in her house crying over being such a shitty dad i felt so bad for almost robbing my daughter of her father more than any guilt that i felt towards myself after the trip ended i sobered up got my shit together to be a better parent and i stuck to it everyday for 8 months straight then after vacation for my daughters birthday celebration i lost my job stephanies ex sold their house and i was out homeless in my car no doubt the worst time of my life but still i tried to make it right but my ex always had to fight ihad no choice i kissed my baby girl goodbye held her close and cried that was my last night in colorado i headed home a 19 hour drive became a 3 day fight for my life i never wanted to die so bad but ima dad now and i cant allow that so i finally made it back got my act together got the court against her cuz shes just trying to hurt me to be petty by using my baby girl and its fuckimg up her world she deserves so mich better and if we worked together she couldve had that instead she fought back i kept it goin and every night i called stephanie because she was my one and only we planned a future together our lives were gonna be better everything was gonna be worth it as long as i had her i knew my worth in this world but then my girl had to be taken away february 18th i miss you everyday stephanie im still fighting for that future we were supposed to have i dont care that ive gone mad im a fucking depressed wreck that stays stressed but im doing my fucking best i feel immortal heartbreak that will never go away i dont care if you listen to what i say or try to understand me im loveless for eternity on the first album i was angry now im in a comstant state of melancholy and this is my loveless story

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