I finally got married to a dictionary aint it scary i rarely get out much my love of words is like a drug you cant get enough of i might need a hug or a better plug cus the one im on is taking to long i might be faking that im aching for change i mean the one in the wallet cus im an unapologetic solid object of self hate i need faith but not hill i mean a way to build my character cus i lack loyalty at times its all fine till they draw the thin line and have enough of my foolish begging not forgetting that im heading down a one way street where i wont make it back so they laugh and say youll never accomplish much in this existence clinging to religion for support but i have been in courts and not for royalty left behind the sorcery from pharmacies and replaced it with weed but it still didnt fill the place in my heart that is empty cus i dont have many friends why is that cus i live life by a code of loath and suffering i have been attached to past mistakes now when you look at my face how many people i have betrayed you can call me evil i might have made wrong choices before but don't toss me on the floor like an aborted fetus i need jesus in my circle instead of purple haze i have a problem im addicted to being high why be sober but as i get older i find that i haven't done anything useful for those who love me or myself so as time passes by i cry tears of regret smoking cigarettes holes in my chest as i digest some bought food from a friend i wont pretend that it's alright sigh take a breath its not too late to amend for the blows you dealt to those who help at my lowest of lows ill still be shouting christ baptized with rides and dimes sold my soul signed on dotted lines climbed ladders now im so shattered that i cant be fixed im done with this life you can have it sick abandoned passage of self inflicted sadness.