Let me tell you something mama, that I never told you bout. I been through more fucked up shit then you can imaging now. I went through hell and back , and Im never looking back, so trust that. so go ahead and judge me how you want to mom, cause i can already barely take it. Plus I know how you are ,so I know That i can't change it . You always going to think how you want to think it. I don't blame you cause, and we're just alike and we sure fucking know it. Tried to change ya mind and show you how I could do it.you always criticizing everything I fucking did and disagree with everything I ever said "if you only knew", mom. "if you only knew" So how do you expect me to move forward with my life when the most important person in my life with my mom "if you only knew mom." "If you only knew" I tried to make it clear, but really you don't believe in me, and all the good in my heart, you don't even try to see it. "if you only knew" So what do I do now I feel as I lost my mom the only person in this world it really means a lot when she's in reality where she could fucking see my pain. Mom this ain't no show or the fucking movies, this real facts thats the total truth about me. I bet you still don't believe or care about me. "if you only knew Mom" For now I'm lost just got kicked to the curb and if you want to know yeah that shit fucking hurts, but if you only knew. Do you know how feels to have a shitty fucking father or one that never did shit with me,no never. never been to your birthday party when you were little kids or never built shit with me ,yeah that's my dad! "if you only knew Mom if you only knew. So don't be so hard on me because you're my mother and my father I know it's a big role to play ,but I need you in my life motha. You know my fathers missin many days and I really need your help mom to cloak his shade. best believe it mom. I hope you like this and that you feel my pain as much as i do for only a split second. I love you mom