expressing my feelings off beat

Another Hayward rap let's go walking my sad self through downtown my ass always in a frown seeing this shit show of what we call life. I try to bring myself up but then seeing everyone with my ideals or childhood dealing with absolutely nothing. America is all about Consumerism , but all that brings Is a set of nihilism.whith that set if nihilism all that brings is people of that feeling with a fucking aneurysm. How the fuck can I prolell myself forward, when every human in like is harbored. As a harbored boat, how can anyone cope? without another hope to help, how can anyone be cared? as a broken man, how can I see myself within in a clan? I need help, but waking up everyone morning how else can I see who held the belt? I'm scared never been spared. I lost the only love that live has given myself, how the fuck am I supposed to help myself