Standing in this chair Rope around my neck I feel like no one cares I'm hopeless I try to talk to God But it seems like I don't have a prayer Why can't I just be a normal man? Why can't I be loved? I don't understand why I'm not good enough I gave it all I had, now I'm giving up And now the only thing I trust is this truss They always told me I should pray They always told me God would take away this pain They always told me time would make it go away They always told me stick it out, you'll be okay But I'm not, and I haven't been My life is a wreck, like it's an accident So, I'll count to 10And when I hit that last number I'll be numb and hope this madness ends 1, I remember when she cheated My heart was broken into several pieces 2, I was just another dude But you told me that I was the one for you so 3, 4, 5, Why'd he have to die? Best friend was drunk But still, they let him drive Off the right side of the road He was thrown through the window into the sky 6, Grandma can not meet my kids She went to Heaven January 25th I wasn't ready for her life to end I had so many questions to ask her But now I can't so, 7 ,8, Hope I fall straight With all my weight, my neck should break and I will suffocate 9, 10, I begin to descend Close my eyes and know my life is at it's end! Rope tightens and my neck squeezes My eyes open wide I'm barely breathing And I can not even try to save myself Cause I tied my hands behind my back I can't believe it I just wanted to be done with all this pain That my life has brought on me I googled how to do this But it ain't say nothin bout all the regrets I'd prolly see I start to panic cause my life will vanish any second now And no one's here with me I could of probly managed any sadness that I had But half the time I felt like no one's listening God, please! Help me nowI'm not ready to go, but I'm blacking out I'm not tappin, but my life is flashin as I'm passin And I'm scared of where I'm headed now The last thing I remembered seeing Before my eyes sealed shut tight Was a picture of my mom hanging on my wall Staring back into my eyes And instantly, I regretted it And I don't know if I'm Hell or Heaven sent But I know it's a mistake I didn't take away this pain I passed it to my relatives How could I be so selfish? I only ever thought of me I could've called anyone to help but I just soaked in all my misery Now my mom's gonna find me hanging there And I know it's gonna mess her up She's gonna blame herself And think she wasn't thereAs she buries her own youngest son And my parent's marriage starts to fail Cause what kept em glued is under coffin nails Cause it's hard to love When a part of your heart Is torn apart and no longer there And my brothers and sisters Will be with one less sibling Thinking about the signs that they were missing And they'll take the blame for it but it's not there fault Every thought of it is like a wound with salt And I'm sorry It never even came across my mind that y'all Could help me So many thoughts went through my mind That I forgot about you Honestly, it's overwhelming To my niece and nephew, I'm sorry too Y'all just think I'm sleeping but it isn't true I'm gone and I'm never coming backi wasn't thinking, I just made a selfish act My world begins to fade away My breathing slows with every breath I take Every thought of every person that I ever loved Has made it's way into my brain And I'm full of nothing but regret But it's too late to change what I've done My whole life I felt like I'm depressed But life had only just begun.