chorus: i never wanna die all i wanna do is life my best fucking life! why am i feeling like i can't get high. looking up an i cant fight my pride push aside the lies just to pass the time realize that this is my fucked up life when am u gonna get this shit right or am i gunna fuck it up tonight . light it up act like i didnt do enough this shit is tough lost too many people it diamond in the rough you better duck they dont give a fuck they just want you bucks. Rollin up to the crib i lost my kids even lost my place to live im drounding in my sorrows dont where i should begin. loss or win everyday i sin i gringe thinking about the shit i did. losing in the end i dont pretend to make amends a dying trend where are all of my friends never there when i think again so fuck it im on 10 or maybe 20 i trying to get to this money but the drugs take it from me im such a dummy im playing rummy just to get a numby. its a lonely road where should i go i lost my soul cause this world so fucking cold im getting old but ill be damned if i ever fold this story never been told never been wrote im blowing some smoke my eyes hazy im lazy from all of this dope im tryin to cope but im losing hope should i end it tie the rope this aint a joke . my best friend died from suicide i didnt even get to say goodbye when i think about all i want to do is cry why didnt you fucking try you know damn well i was by your side we ride or die look at sky clouds passing by cant believe my eyes didnt see the rain coming down that washed away your life this shit just isnt right i was pissed that night cause you know you my brother we was so fucking tight i didn't think you was gunna end it before you could see the light. why did you fucking leave me. i need you as much as you need me even your babygirl i know she was your world you loved her so much but your selfish to give that all up for what a set back like what the fuck life aint perfect you should know that shit enough i know you was tough my brother i miss you so fucking much. as much as i miss my son my daughters me being a dad best feeling i ever had it makes me mad i wish i could go back and smack some sense into your ass. all bullshit aside apart of me died im trying to relive that night it still dont feel right sometimes i try to call see if you would pick up an say hi but its just the dial tone sorry you reach matt i can't come to the phone .