I'm so sick of this place. I feel sick in the brain. I'm sick of feeling not shit but this pain feeling only death can take it away. and every single day of my life is the same. I'm sick of people saying that I should pray. anwser to all my problems. he going to take em away. tried that so many times in my life he didn't have nothing to say. my life has been a haze only shades of the gray but even if he help me. what would remain. I been to the point I put a gun to my face. thinking of my kids kept me out the grave. yea my legs got the shakes. yea my backs bout to break any second ima collapsed from the weight. too much on my plate how much..I can take I'm trying to find an answer who can I trust with world full of actors. ride or dies turned into back stabber. then turn back around to laugh at ya. bout to end up in a room that's all padded. mind going crazy you wana knkw what happend. I guess im so sick of my heart being shattered. I'm so sick of loosing everyone who matters. sick of reaching back and pulling out the daggers im sick of everything good ends ina a disaster can't pay my bills make me wana mask up makes it hard to believe the words of a pastor. yea. really don't add up life full of bad luck when will it turn around. try to pick my self back up but it seems like there is always someone to kick me back to the ground. I don't even know the last time that I actually smiled or the last time I felt like i wasent going to drowned or the last time the sun shined through these rainy clouds stuck in my head and I really wana shut it down. stuck in the cage and I'm proly never getting out. I knkw I'm not the only one who knows what I'm talking bout fighting deamons on the daily trying to find a better route