a story about Mike and Ashley Ashley versus Mike Mike in the City versus the Town versus Ashley and him Just tired hungry cotton mouth you know I'm just sad I'm just I'm sad I'm having a hard time dealing with my mixed emotions signals and receivers in whatever's going on in my head I'm just I'm just falling apart and crying it's hard to go through emotionally and emotionally labeled and I have suitable bowler and I've shoot a bulber and II normally don't get involved emotionally with people so when I do It tends to result in Me having sporadic uncontrollable outbursts of crying it's just I've had it for over what 30 years now and it's gotten more progi'm more progressive the older I get so so until I get my prescription fromy prescription from psychiatrist I can't reduce these episodes episodes and it just seems like seems like the more emotions are Tamboured with or toad wiz or played wiz or modified or So I'm just I'm having a hard time not fault on the part crying every other few minutes or so It's what happens when I feel love or when I get emotionally involved with another human being that is is just as emotionally insane or more and there's nothing I can do about it because II have a problem dealing with my emotions because to my emotions because in my brain the syndrome received mixed signals and I'm pretty sure I'm I'm I'm genuinely sad right now and I shouldn't be laughing and I don't want to laugh because you know I could but I might not stop And it's just one of those days where I'm I'm crying sometimes I just cry all day you know as this pisses me asked us who the f*** I am that nobody sees nobody gets necessary It was worth it it was worth getting a broken heart and it's worth crying for days on end and being confused and hurt and sad it was worth it just a fit's just a film you know just to feel loved and cared for an affection and all the things that you know I don't ever get and get used to not having and then when you get it you're like d*** d*** that has a good drop of water ha I haven't have water and you're spending it on a drop of that water oh oh yeah I'm gonna sleep f*** it Let me drive I don't need your g******I'm broke hungry thirsty and tired sweaty filthy need a shower and p*** off board angry sad emotional hyper depress slow motivated depression even more that's what the f*** I'm doing how's that I'm doing I've got done crying for f****** 4 hours talking to my site I'll just for an hour and talking to my caseworker we're another f****** hour so what's going onI imagine sitting here with my .22. under my hand strapped on my lap. trigger is w/in reach trigger's grasped feelin trigger happy Shhhhh- Shhhh- Shhhh... hear my .22 bang out thoughts reload think again I'm not armed nor Calm Down. Happy early Birthday Pimp Lucious be 22 on the 28th have a great month and birthday 🎂 waterlove me hate me  want me don't like me thought this think that do n don't do this oh an I said that u don't know what's known unknowns lie deny think thinking again how 2 hurt me more Ok Michael u held me several times when I tried leaving Love u though You just shown me that I will never find love Just know I have a side to the story too N evidence of my own I fucking loved uOk I will leave u aloneFear being murdered much? And I was under the impression just like what a day and I was under the impression just like what a day and a and that you was encouraging you to to flee that property and escape those Those same people I mean from day to day I don't know which direction you're coming from I'm not sure why I'm even talking to you I just I guess it's the way you leave me I'm I'm ghosted and I'm just left in limbo and yeah great this is this is not what I had planned or intended and if it is what you planned and intended kudos good job almost a job well done but I'm not buying any of the lies and the only truth that I believed in was that you meant everything that you said before turning Thriller video with what your talkin'is dead wrong you know dancing around the facts and ignoring the truth and I don't know I'm apparently I miss you and the attention that you gave me has I don't know shifted molecular cell structure