[Just a collaboration with my big sis] {Lyrics Below} I've been going through some thangs Like a lotus in the rain Trynna find out what i need to change To feel no more pain Tho i still feel so damn alone I'm quite okay My mental doesn't feel the same anymore With each day I think I'm going insane..... I'm just a lotus in it's bloomin Feel like I'm stuck in the matrix like truman Got eyes all on me, I'm so paranoid and beat Got these thoughts that waver making me feel so obsolete I nearly tasted defeat, only just to see the light across the street from the bullshit i need I've been planted on this earth from my fathers seed But it seems my lungs are blocked to help me breathe Instead I'm trying to feel and trynna see for what things need to be seen My heart got snapped like rubber bands Trynna be makin amends with the demons like they my only friend Cuz growing up, i had no helping hand just carnivorous evil grins With evil schemes for their wicked plans I tried askin for help but i got treated like a maniac, damn Just for askin for closure But they all assume shit So I'll remain a soldier You can keep talking shit But I'll keep my composure As I'm composing words like I live for this culture Because it helped me when nothin else did besides the devils whispers When i was hurtin it told me to use my anger as power Even when my virgin soul was turnin sour I still had to devour facts that'll help me later on recover from bein so bitter I need more time before i die I've been going through some thangs Like a lotus in the rain Trynna find out what i need to change To feel no more pain Tho i still feel so damn alone I'm quite okay My mental doesn't feel the same anymore With each day I think I'm going insane.....