Smoke n Mirrors
342 Plays
•19 Dec 2021
#waitingforapurposegoodenough #freespitbox #smokenmirrors #hiphop #notgoodenoughforyou #samc a do the ones you love - expect you to be a fan? do the ones who love you - expect you to love them? i want to, - somehow, - find value, from these feelings, - I have for you i go over - what I said - when I had the chance - in my head untill all thats left - are conversations - I should have had Is it because - Im trying, to - find the best useses, for these thoughts or am I just - holding on to, - what I do, - when I, dont want to - decide, - I'm - not - good enough -for you fish out of what ahh, cant - feel... that, ill...- eagle - yet that game of whos afraid to be plain I'm game, - but I - aint plain some - get - the ques! confused but they are, two - completely, different thangs what I believe, chess - has taught me, is, - that - there is always going ta - be that decish thats ultimately is - going to change ya who you are, and what you do, your satisfaction - in life. - the - answer, - will always be there, qSome like to, fight, - for it and I know that the decision, will either - not change a thing - be, for the - worse - or the better but the more - time and effort - ,I use, ta -dig for the answer - with that metaphorical spade -the more, I - need to, question if I -have been - misguided. and The - longer I take to contemplate and the more, - it feels like a chore and the more -I end up, feeling like doing something else, while I wait before, winding back, at -square one again, asking, why I took the bait to create, this fait - in the first place maybe, its because - I have, come to terms - with failing and if I am going to fail, why wouldnt I - choose to fail- with anyone, other then - your face but comebacks dont happen to those who give up or am I just stuck, waiting for the confidence to not feel I suck or am I just, v waiting for a purpose, good enough i thought I was in control of my own, mellow turns out, I was really - relying on those around me How could - I believe - I, could - make you happy, how could -I, not hate me - for 'not,- choosing you, over me ---- hows ya comprehension As it comes down to these questions would I rather be bored with someone - or would being by myself, make me, - feel less guilty not to mention, more - my type - of fun should I. - Ask. - be cheering, or talkn, to myself, waitin, for the 3rd person, ta, kick in, or kick on by -- how long, - will their, wait be, before they begin, with, their reason how are you. the only.. help. when it seems you will, always, be, so far. Different season why is their anything that can be done, to break the stail silence, even if its not actually - what they are -perceiving even - now all, thats left, in my eyes, are, smoke and mirrors. - i thought her pain was a bad thing - i didnt realise removing it, from the picture would be, ah, removing me forever, - I thought the picture was bigger but naa, Not that now, - this means - anything to ya now our si-Lence - casts -our - spark into darkness - I still havent been able to say goodby, forever - you are - my default. Waisted - time because all thats, - left. In - my - eyes - are - smoke and mirrors. na, not afraid of them - because - I'm similar the pain, - wasnt from the - distance - but from a forseen - doubt of a - dream - from a past feeling - of comfort - a comfort in being, - without - regret, - without, - neglect, without the uncertainty of if - love will, die, -- or if - all, - my -- feelings, - that come, with love, - will, continue to feel - worth it. - I'M getting better - At, enjoying, failure - Your allowed to have flaws , if you can joke about them, -- be open about them. - I would ask you, how you are, - but it wouldn't be, with the, -- Right intentions, - cause, I know your taken, And, I aint bout being disrespectful, But Internalising it all, - I cant help but feel, the real - purpose for why I wright, - isn't being achieved at all I cant, forget, this, truth, of who, I feel, I need to, prove, me to As I picture, my life - in a, comic strip, am I winning, am I losing? is it all just one big trip How many climaxes am I putting myself wit - today? - Am I confident enough to say, -How I feel, so that one day you can just press play comprehend these questions and know me in one day Or - will I be - just waiting, for the 3rd person, to, kick in, Because /You inspired me, so much to, the core, - I thought, I didn't need, to care about, - anything, anymore will that happyness…happens, again, or is the same happiness the second time round, be, gone in the wind, for sure these - are the - starting points to the, answers I wonder If you, listn a little closer, as I take myself into my most in-ner thoughts too peice togeather a clue, - to, why, when - I think who,- I feel I - am, -- - who, - I feel - I want to - be - I always, end -up, thinking bout - you trapping myself into, - an illusion of truth Is this what you intend - to do, - yer is this what you've - intended - to do We don't - even need, to talk bout it - if you dont want to am I just prolonging an end, to the hope that, - we would be in eachothers lives , forever from when you graffitied our names, took a photo and sent it in a letter is half a now a - good time for you and then, the goal of getting high, changes, to getting higher and then, the wiser, say the better without the, why! - might never, be what you desire until the possible - gets clearer, more real - and feels - well spent yeah, thats what I miss, - as well as- zone in, - while attempting to turn, where I am, - into, a studio so I can pretend to say hello, to someone who only, probably would have cared...a decade ago because I dont - want my fondest memories, - to break my heart all over again - every time I think of them - stail, fairy tails - too - hard to swallow, - i want to, - somehow, - find value, from these feelings, - I have for you so i go over - what I said - when I had the chance - in my head untill - all thats left - are conversations - I should have had Is this - because - Im trying, to - find the best useses,- for these thoughts or am I just - holding on to, - what I do, - when I, dont want to - decide, that - I'm - not good enough -for you
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#waitingforapurposegoodenough #freespitbox #smokenmirrors #hiphop #notgoodenoughforyou #samc a do the ones you love - expect you to be a fan? do the ones who love you - expect you to love them? i want to, - somehow, - find value, from these feelings, - I have for you i go over - what I said - when I had the chance - in my head untill all thats left - are conversations - I should have had Is it because - Im trying, to - find the best useses, for these thoughts or am I just - holding on to, - what I do, - when I, dont want to - decide, - I'm - not - good enough -for you fish out of what ahh, cant - feel... that, ill...- eagle - yet that game of whos afraid to be plain I'm game, - but I - aint plain some - get - the ques! confused but they are, two - completely, different thangs what I believe, chess - has taught me, is, - that - there is always going ta - be that decish thats ultimately is - going to change ya who you are, and what you do, your satisfaction - in life. - the - answer, - will always be there, qSome like to, fight, - for it and I know that the decision, will either - not change a thing - be, for the - worse - or the better but the more - time and effort - ,I use, ta -dig for the answer - with that metaphorical spade -the more, I - need to, question if I -have been - misguided. and The - longer I take to contemplate and the more, - it feels like a chore and the more -I end up, feeling like doing something else, while I wait before, winding back, at -square one again, asking, why I took the bait to create, this fait - in the first place maybe, its because - I have, come to terms - with failing and if I am going to fail, why wouldnt I - choose to fail- with anyone, other then - your face but comebacks dont happen to those who give up or am I just stuck, waiting for the confidence to not feel I suck or am I just, v waiting for a purpose, good enough i thought I was in control of my own, mellow turns out, I was really - relying on those around me How could - I believe - I, could - make you happy, how could -I, not hate me - for 'not,- choosing you, over me ---- hows ya comprehension As it comes down to these questions would I rather be bored with someone - or would being by myself, make me, - feel less guilty not to mention, more - my type - of fun should I. - Ask. - be cheering, or talkn, to myself, waitin, for the 3rd person, ta, kick in, or kick on by -- how long, - will their, wait be, before they begin, with, their reason how are you. the only.. help. when it seems you will, always, be, so far. Different season why is their anything that can be done, to break the stail silence, even if its not actually - what they are -perceiving even - now all, thats left, in my eyes, are, smoke and mirrors. - i thought her pain was a bad thing - i didnt realise removing it, from the picture would be, ah, removing me forever, - I thought the picture was bigger but naa, Not that now, - this means - anything to ya now our si-Lence - casts -our - spark into darkness - I still havent been able to say goodby, forever - you are - my default. Waisted - time because all thats, - left. In - my - eyes - are - smoke and mirrors. na, not afraid of them - because - I'm similar the pain, - wasnt from the - distance - but from a forseen - doubt of a - dream - from a past feeling - of comfort - a comfort in being, - without - regret, - without, - neglect, without the uncertainty of if - love will, die, -- or if - all, - my -- feelings, - that come, with love, - will, continue to feel - worth it. - I'M getting better - At, enjoying, failure - Your allowed to have flaws , if you can joke about them, -- be open about them. - I would ask you, how you are, - but it wouldn't be, with the, -- Right intentions, - cause, I know your taken, And, I aint bout being disrespectful, But Internalising it all, - I cant help but feel, the real - purpose for why I wright, - isn't being achieved at all I cant, forget, this, truth, of who, I feel, I need to, prove, me to As I picture, my life - in a, comic strip, am I winning, am I losing? is it all just one big trip How many climaxes am I putting myself wit - today? - Am I confident enough to say, -How I feel, so that one day you can just press play comprehend these questions and know me in one day Or - will I be - just waiting, for the 3rd person, to, kick in, Because /You inspired me, so much to, the core, - I thought, I didn't need, to care about, - anything, anymore will that happyness…happens, again, or is the same happiness the second time round, be, gone in the wind, for sure these - are the - starting points to the, answers I wonder If you, listn a little closer, as I take myself into my most in-ner thoughts too peice togeather a clue, - to, why, when - I think who,- I feel I - am, -- - who, - I feel - I want to - be - I always, end -up, thinking bout - you trapping myself into, - an illusion of truth Is this what you intend - to do, - yer is this what you've - intended - to do We don't - even need, to talk bout it - if you dont want to am I just prolonging an end, to the hope that, - we would be in eachothers lives , forever from when you graffitied our names, took a photo and sent it in a letter is half a now a - good time for you and then, the goal of getting high, changes, to getting higher and then, the wiser, say the better without the, why! - might never, be what you desire until the possible - gets clearer, more real - and feels - well spent yeah, thats what I miss, - as well as- zone in, - while attempting to turn, where I am, - into, a studio so I can pretend to say hello, to someone who only, probably would have cared...a decade ago because I dont - want my fondest memories, - to break my heart all over again - every time I think of them - stail, fairy tails - too - hard to swallow, - i want to, - somehow, - find value, from these feelings, - I have for you so i go over - what I said - when I had the chance - in my head untill - all thats left - are conversations - I should have had Is this - because - Im trying, to - find the best useses,- for these thoughts or am I just - holding on to, - what I do, - when I, dont want to - decide, that - I'm - not good enough -for you
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