i know a four letter word that never gets shared enough. i have it for a lot of people i lost count after several billion. ive had it then lost it but grateful for the good memories i shared with those i thought i could trust. now its me just above the open hole in the dirt about to drop down to sleep where i dont have to feel such loss at the loss of my heart. my soul is shallow and cold. its too old to have to go around this star we revolve around once every year im reminded of my worst fears. family isnt too sure if im who i used to be. im uncertain if the clarity is the liquor or the ganga. i just need less depression more money cause the recession. certainly im lost in more ways than one. clearly ive lost too many battles and forfeitted the war. if you fight for love with it inside your heart youll never have to fight what you hate. if you pull with the intent of holding them close is it a crime just to want to die inside and on the outside leave it all for the rest. With this vacant hole in my chest im gonna have to confess I have love for those who have not enough of it not enough hate to stand up to fate demonstrate the will to clean the slate and create better days before its too late. Ive had sleep for dinner cause i didnt wanna clear my plate my mom said i started breathing late. my brain might be damaged but its too late to eradicate the broken brain waves too late to save what normally cant be saved. my mind is statutory and im the slave to my own ways. its begining to bore me but ive been trying not to get gory the story of those who loathe me want to just destroy me. to see me fail and feel happy and proud that i fell so far. im not a soldier but a warrior at heart. i won some battles and lost the war my demons they can concur that the strife that occurs is caused by my own damn hands. broke my soul and now i feel no broken bones. if you fight for love with it inside your heart youll never have to fight what you hate. if you pull with the intent of holding them close is it a crime just to want to die inside and on the outside leave it all for the rest. With this vacant hole in my chest im gonna have to confess